Comments (0) So I’ll be working as a professional chef for like the first time ever. I’ll be assisting in the kitchen at the Goat Hill Grille helping prepare their Fall 2009 Wine Dinner sponsored by M.S. Walker Fine Wine & Spirits. Check out the announcement HERE and the menu HERE.
Cheers! Yankees suck!
The homepage almost makes the Starboard Galley look enticing…almost. Yes, they do have outdoor dining, which fortunately the hostess was kind enough to let us know that it was “buggy” outside. As a table of four relocated to inside due to the buggy-ness, that is when I saw that their outdoor dining doesn’t actually look out on the water, it looks out on a parking lot. Very romantic.
In a state of hunger that was so great (and a tight budget) we opted for the Starboard Galley. Having never been there before (nor will I ever return) we should have been tipped off by the fact that there were no cars parked out front and no diners waiting to be seated. When we sat at our table I mentioned to my date that the restaurant smelled funny…”yeah, it smells like urine”. That should have been our second clue, but we were ravenous.
We perused the menu and decided to try the steak tips…it’s virtually impossible to make bad steak tips…that’s what I thought anyway. Our waitress, who was actually very nice, brought us our water (which tasted like dirt, but the lemon slice garnish helped mask that) and bread and butter. Nothing fancy, but it was enough to tide us over until our meals arrived. The steak tips were little brown chunks of meat that in no way were cooked medium rare and tasted like they had been sitting on the grill for hours. The chicken wings weren’t any better unless you prefer chicken wings overcooked to the point that they shrivel and dry out. The baked potato wasn’t even hot enough to melt room temperature butter and the brown spot, that was just gross. The veggies (zucchini and summer squash) weren’t hot either and barely resembled anything edible.
Bottom line, if you’re thinking of going to the Starboard Galley just go to Crapplebee’s instead.
Thanks for reading,
Muffin
P.S – Yankees suck!
In December I wrote a rant on some of the worst appetizers in Beverly restaurants. Read it again here. Progress has been made, people. Two of the appetizers I mentioned have been stricken from their menus. And both are at SOMA.
Is it a coincidence these two appetizers disappeared after my posting? Probably. Maybe they were just removed during seasonal revamps of the menu. Maybe public outcry had a hand in it. Maybe they realized how much they sucked. Maybe it really was my literary influence. How cool would that be? One thing is for sure, according to my handy-dandy web stats log, that posting is one of the most viewed articles on this site.
I definitely know of one place where my opinion matters. The Ryal Side Café on Bridge Street in Beverly. I was having a cocktail a week or so ago with the owner of the café and I suggested she add kielbasa to their breakfast menu. I cruised by there for breakfast today and guess what was on the menu as a special … KIELBASA!! She said it was my influence which partially drove her to add it to the specials menu. I know, it’s really not a big deal to suggest a small restaurant offer grilled kielbasa, but I’m flattered anyway! To top it off she says it’s selling so well, they will make it permanent on the menu. Hot dog!
I haven’t written anything up on the Ryal Side Café, but I will soon. I love the Ryal Side Café and it’s very, very pretty owner.
Yankees suck!
Reader Bob writes in seeking restaurant suggestions for fine wine, Chateaubriand and foie gras for a Valentine’s Day date. Thanks for reading and I’ll do anything to help.
Fine wine and great filet mignon shouldn’t be all that hard to find in Boston. Now getting reservations at a nice place on Valentine’s Day is going to be tough. Great place with even great foie gras? Even harder. I just started getting into the foie gras scene lately and I can’t believe I didn’t discover it sooner.
On Christmas Day I attended a large dinner party at my friend’s beach house in Beverly Farms. I helped prepare the food for the party and worked in the kitchen with alongside a world class chef. It seemed like one of the best Christmas presents of my life.
The chef made foie gras that was to die for. Home cooking is always the best, but food prepared by a classically trained chef AT HOME is even better.
As for grabbing good foie gras at a Boston restaurant, I say try Davio’s or Clio. Davio’s is an amazing Italian restaurant with incredible foie gras. Decent steak too, but it’s not what they are famous for. Clio has killer foie gras and an amazing rib eye steak. The Goat Hill Grille in Beverly would be a nice place too (and it’s one of my absolute favorites.) Oh, and Cafe Escadrille is legendary!
I’ve never been to Mistral or L’Espalier, but I’ve been told they have great foie gras. I’m reluctant to go to L’Espalier since I’m not the biggest fan of prix fixe menus. However, if you want to have an amazing filet, I’d go to Gavens in Middleton. No question about it.
Good luck on reservations on Valentine’s Day. I’d rather stay home and cook on Valentine’s Day, but that’s me. Have fun!
Yankees suck!
I love dive bars. Especially cool ones. Not that the Lucky Dog is a dive bar. But it is. Kinda. It’s small and smells like popcorn and stale beer. They have darts, keno, free popcorn, a juke box and a large HD-TV. They only sell beer, booze, smokes, chips, lottery tickets and pizza. You’ll find the occasional biker and/or a guy who thinks his bright colored hot rod is the coolest thing on earth and you should worship him and it. The bartenders are awesome, the guys are chill and the girls are often pretty. Great place to watch a game.
My company hosted our holiday party at the Boston College Club in downtown Boston. Being the smart guy I am I decided to stay at the Langham Hotel so I could party all night and not worry about trying to make it back to the north shore. Before the party I met some friends at the hotel’s Julien Bar & Lounge. The Julien is seriously one of the nicest bar’s I’ve ever seen. I ordered a Ketel One & Cranberry. They gave me a very, very small Ketel One & Cranberry. They charged me $11 too. Not that I’m cheap or anything. I spend a lot of money at bars and restaurants cause I love it. I know what’s good in life. At least I now know what’s good for ME. It took me a while to figure that out. So at the Lucky Dog $10 gets me a pitcher of PBR and a large pizza instead of a tiny, weak cocktail. Yeah baby!
I really love the Lucky Dog. I try to cruise by there on Thursday nights for trivia with my friends. Usually we win. Last night I was coming home for a friend’s house and decided to cruise in there and grab a pizza since it was late and I didn’t have dinner yet. I saw a couple friends, bought them a pitcher of PBR and ordered myself a pepperoni pizza.
The pitcher was gone by the time the pizza arrived. When you order a pitcher for $6 the pizza is only a $4 bolt on. Great! It’s the best $4 pizza you’ll ever have. It’s greasy and cheesy. Just the way it’s supposed to be. I wrestled with the stringy cheese on my first slice for what seemed to be forever. By the time I was done the grease had dissolved through my paper plate. Awesome!
Almost every night there’s the one goon who walks in. You know the one. Most of the time it’s a different person. This one guy walks in with his collar popped up, wearing sunglasses at night. He also probably spent a half hour trying to make his hair stylishly messed up. You know the one. Anyway, he was yelling at his similarly dressed pals and saying he was gonna play the jukebox. But he was saying, “Kid, I’m gonna play the Yooooooooook-box .. Yooooooooook-box .. Yooooooooook-box!!!!” I’m all like CHRIST!!! Here we go again. I knew he was going to play it. I just knew it. I felt a disturbance in the force.
He walks away from the Yoooook-box and, yeah, you guessed it. He played the one song that every asshole plays while I’m there. He played the 18 minute version of Bruce Springsteen’s Kitty’s Back. This happens every freaking night! Some numb nut always plays it. I mean, hey, it’s their buck, play what they want. I can stomach a shit song for 3 minutes or so. Whatever. But to play a shit song that lasts 18 minutes and force the rest of the place to hold in their vomit is just friggin rude.
Seriously, I love the place anyway. Cruise down there. Peace out. Yankees suck!
Lucky Dog — 129 Cabot Street, Beverly, MA
There is more info regarding this posting — see it here after you read this.
———————
First off, I’m with my lady friend and she’s evaluating some software for a project she’s working on for her company. She is seriously the biggest computer nerd that’s ever walked the earth. But she’s damn cute and one hell of a saleslady. Anyway, she’s making me use one of her project’s shitty laptops. How shitty can a laptop be you ask? It’s a Fujitsu-Siemens laptop with a French keyboard layout running Ubuntu Linux. That’s how shitty. What’s even weirder is I’m allowing her to make me use this thing. But seriously, what am I going to say. I’m weak to her species.
She doesn’t actually like Ubuntu software or the silly Japanese-Eurotrash hardware it’s wrapped in. She says Ubuntu Linux smells like ass and she’s actually going to prove it to a big group of other nerds who make decisions regarding multi-multi-multi-million dollar defense related technical solutions. She’s a former Sun chick and she feels Solaris could have saved the world if Sun wasn’t so freaking stupid. If she doesn’t like that hardware/software setup then why torture me? The reason is obvious: she probably enjoys it.
Anyhoo, this idea for a post just hit me. There are some great restaurants in Beverly, MA, the town just south of where I live. Beverly has a great bar, music and social scene too. Not that I’m a miserable, cynical prick or anything, but for some reason the worst of the worst appetizers in Beverly restaurants are stuck in my head. Just to show I’m a kind hearted guy and I’m not all about being negative as I have been against the Indigo Bar & Grill, I’ll also add info about a good appetizer at the restaurants. Deal? Good. Here we go…
Nothing can kill a dining experience faster than a lousy appetizer. Receiving a poor greeting when you arrive at a restaurant and bad service rank right up there too. But when an appetizer sucks, it will ruin a meal. No matter how good the next courses are. These are the top five appetizers in Beverly restaurants that must be removed from the earth as fast as freakin’ possible. The very thought of ever experiencing these apps again make my blood boil.
#5 – Cheese and Fruit – Brenden Crocker’s Wild Horse Cafe
I swear to Jah. Cheese and fruit for $13. In Beverly. It’s not that cheese and fruit are bad or shouldn’t be on a appetizer menu, but come on peeps. $13? In Beverly? The last time I paid close to that for a cheese and fruit tray was at The View Lounge on the 39th floor of the Marriott in downtown San Francisco. I didn’t mind it then since we were getting more than just the food. This place has a freakin’ spectacular 360° view of San Francisco! Robin Williams was drunk off his ass and doing one-acts at the bar. And I think Keith Sweat was crooning with the house jazz band. The ambiance was worth the overpriced food and cocktails. All the ambiance you’ll get at the Wild Horse Cafe is seeing the snobby people you’d usually run into at SOMA.
One good appetizer at the Wild Horse Cafe is the huge plate of nachos, but with house-made potato chips instead of Doritos or something. Smothered in melted cheese, bacon, scallions and sour cream. I didn’t see it on the online menu, but I always get it. Believe it or not, nachos are an easy thing to screw up and the Wild Horse does them perfectly. The first time I had them the girl I was with asked for the bacon be placed on the side. She didn’t eat bacon. When I heard that all I could imagine in my head was a big red X over her face and a buzzing sound like on the Family Feud.
#4 – Crab Cakes – SOMA
SOMA was actually the first bar I went to when I moved out here from California. I had a mediocre overpriced martini and absolutely offensive crab cakes. They sucked. Plain and simple. I lived in the Washington DC area for some time and I had some pretty good Maryland crab cakes down there. The crab cakes at the Black Cow in Hamilton are tasty. However, the crab cakes at the Pacific Café in San Francisco are the best I’ve had in my entire life.
One decent appetizer at SOMA is the Caesar Salad. It’s probably good since it’s not too difficult to make.
#3 – Chile Con Queso – Acapulcos Mexican Restaurant
Imagine Velveeta with Tabasco Sauce. After living in California for so long, I’ve become a Mexican food snob. I can’t help it though. There is absolutely no decent Mexican food in the Northeast. I challenge anyone to steer me towards some. Please.
One decent appetizer there is the Camarones De Ajo – Shrimp sautéed with fresh mushrooms in butter, garlic and spices. Not great, but not that bad.
#2 – Sopa Cielito Lindo – Cielito Lindo Grill
Absolute shit. It seemed like it was made with canned black beans that were rinsed and then mixed with a broth made made of 100% hot tap water. I know how to make a black bean soup. Even though mine is the best in the world, it’s pretty easy to make. It isn’t magic.
One decent appetizer: TACOS! How hard are they to screw up? This restaurant also links their online menus to PDFs. Christ.
#1 – Grilled Portuguese Octopus – SOMA (yes, SOMA again)
Seriously, I think that description should speak for itself. If aliens and terrorists teamed up and sent us an appetizer that would bring our nation to it’s knees, it might look something like this. They also spelled fennel and drizzle wrong on their online menu. See it here. But they did spell fennel correctly on another appetizer description. See. Inconsistent.
I seriously have to stop typing. I’m still using this French keyboard and it’s driving me batshit.
Les Yankees sucent! (Yankees suck!)
Just for good measure, I’m writing this post and linking all my previous posts regarding the Blue Smoke Bistro in Hamilton, Massachusetts. Some quick internet indexing posts need to be made since they changed their name to Indigo Bar & Grill. Or is it Indigo Bar and Grill. I need to write the name using both “&” and “and” in the title. I want to be sure any web searches for either name will link to this site. A friend of mine at Google suggested this. When Google speaks, you might as well listen.
Original post: Blue Smoke Bistro
Updates: Update 1, Update 2, Update 3, Update 4, Update 5 and Update 6.
Yankees suck!
