Comments (3)

By J.Ho, December 3, 2009 4:43 pm

Last night Rachael Ray was texting me all upset still over Martha Stewart slamming her in a Nightline interview a week or so ago. I exported the text from my iPhone using a non-Apple approved app. Check it …

—————————————-

RaRay: hi JamieCakes!!!

J.Ho: hi SugarBum, wasup?

RaRay: I can’t believe this shit!!!

J.Ho: ???

RaRay: Did you see what that tw@ Martha Stewart said about me on Nightline?

J.Ho: Like I watch Nightline!?!?!

RaRay: Yeah, anyway, she went off on me saying how I admitted to her once that I don’t know how to bake. Is that news to anyone? Haaaarow?!?!?

J.Ho: LOL!! I know only a few things as fact. It will get dark tonight. Monday comes after Sunday. and you can’t bake! I’m not much or a baker either. Who actually bakes anyways?

RaRay: That’s not all … she said my new cookbook is just a compilation of old, re-editied recipes.

J.Ho: Get the fuck outta here

RaRay: Seriously

J.Ho: Ummm, aren’t all recipes pretty much re-edits of older recipes?

RaRay: TOTALLY!!! There hasn’t been an original cookbook published since like the 20s

J.Ho: The Giada De Laurentiis cookbook “Everyday Italian” was pretty original

RaRay: FUCK YOU!

J.Ho: …..

RaRay: I’m all wound up and you’re makin fuckin jokes

J.Ho: Sorry, you still love me though

RaRay: Anyway, then she goes on saying how she writes books that are lasting, unique things that everyone would want in their library. BULLSHIT!

J.Ho: I was just at Costco and saw a book of hers on the discount table titled, “Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook: The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home” … yeah, everything but your husband and daughter!!!

RaRay: Yeah, total family woman. Her ex-husband hopes she starts bleeding out of her eyes and he daughter wouldn’t have anything to do with her until she bought her a nice little private jet

J.Ho: d-bag!

RaRay: And she says I’m just an entertainer, not a “teacher” like her. Ummm, and her point is?

J.Ho: Where has she been?

RaRay: LOCK UP!!! THAT’S WHERE!!!

J.Ho: LOL, what makes her think you’re an entertainer? Was it your 52 TV shows? Or your Daytime Emmys?

RaRay: God I swear every time that old goat opens her mouth a cloud of dust puffs out.

J.Ho: Don’t worry about it. She’s just jealous. Total jelly! She needs some peanut butter cause she’s so jelly!

RaRay:

J.Ho: Look, she has no personal life, her own family hates her, she’s been in lock down, her company’s valuation is in the toilet and she has no idea how to relate to the public. She made a career on telling women how to be wonderful little homemakers. That shit doesn’t fly nowadays.

RaRay: No shit!

J.Ho: And if she’s gonna try to get noticed again, the only thing she can do is to talk shit and compare herself to the ruler of the universe, which is you, BubbleButt! It won’t work.

RaRay: You’re totally right. I just responded by saying, “Yeah, you cook better than me, Martha. C-ya!”

J.Ho: Smooth

RaRay: What are you doing tonight?

J.Ho: Daaaaahts!

RaRay: Where are you playing?

J.Ho: Lucky Dog, probably

RaRay: Sweet, I gotta run. I have nine more books I have to finish writing by tomorrow afternoon. Copy/Paste, Copy/Paste!!!! Oh, I saw Taylor Swift the other day. She couldn’t stop raving about the mix CD you made for her.

J.Ho: I put a lot of thought into that CD. Especially the order of the playlist.

RaRay: Does she know about us?

J.Ho: Clueless!

RaRay: Sweet! … bye!

J.Ho: Peace

RaRay: Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss

J.Ho: Ok, Nacho!

RaRay: Yankees suck!

J.Ho: God, I love you!

RaRay:

Comments (0)

By J.Ho, November 24, 2009 8:08 am

‘Tis the season to be hammered … I can’t get enough Coquito during the holidays.  Actually, two glasses is enough for me at one sitting.  It packs a serious Latin punch.  J.Ho tested … J.Ho approved !!!

1 cup Coco Lopez cream of coconut
1 cup Carnation sweetened condensed milk
1 cup Carnation evaporated milk
1 cup white rum
1 cup water
3 cinnamon sticks
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
4 egg yolks, well beaten
ground cinnamon and nutmeg

Combine the coconut, condensed and evaporated milks and the rum in a blender or a food processor.  Set aside.  Boil the water with the cinnamon sticks for about five minutes.  Remove from heat and allow to cool to room temperature.  Discard the cinnamon sticks.

Combine all of the ingredients except the ground cinnamon and nutmeg and beat well in a blender or food processor in batches.  Pour eggnog into bottles and refrigerate until ready to use. Serve in your favorite glasses sprinkled with nutmeg and cinnamon … with a dash of Yankees Suck!

Comments (0)

By J.Ho, November 10, 2009 4:51 pm

So I’ll be working as a professional chef for like the first time ever.  I’ll be assisting in the kitchen at the Goat Hill Grille helping prepare their Fall 2009 Wine Dinner sponsored by M.S. Walker Fine Wine & Spirits.  Check out the announcement HERE and the menu HERE.

Cheers!  Yankees suck!

Comments (3)

By J.Ho, October 26, 2009 1:04 pm

I know, no updates in a while and no new recipes for well over a year or so.  The past two years have been pretty hectic.  Anyway, yesterday while watching the Pats game I decided to make some beef stew.  Perfect for a crisp autumn day in New England.  Recipe is HERE.  Check it out!

Yankees suck.

Comments (2)

By J.Ho, July 6, 2009 11:39 am

So I’m back in Boston and I need to start updating this site again.  Will do.  Seriously. Yankees suck!

Comments (1)

By J.Ho, December 7, 2008 6:04 pm

Part One … San Francisco is by far the favorite of the vastly geographically separated trinity of metropolitan areas I call home. Last September I left the wicked awesome confines of Boston to embark on a business trip to the City by the Bay. This business trip turned out to be all pleasure.

So my plane lands on an early Saturday afternoon. I was to stay with the JilliBean at her crash pad on Sutter & Jones for a few days and then check into the Grand Hyatt for the remainder of my stay. My post-sortie ingress plan was to take the BART from the airport into downtown San Francisco, meet up with the JilliBean, drop my gear off at her pad and cruise the city. I’m never one for plans anyway.

I get off the BART at the Powell station and the first things I notice are how many more bums were around than usual and the awesome weather. I mean awesome weather. You know, the perfect kind that only San Francisco can provide. The kind of weather that has something for everyone. Warm, sunny and a slight breeze mixed in with extreme cold, wind and gloomy fog. A paradox like no other.

So I step over my quota of bums and call the JilliBean. No answer. I call again. No answer. I call one last time. Beat. Luckily, I had accounted for this contingency in my ingress plan. So I’m on my own in downtown San Francisco for a while, where do I go to kill some time? The Gold Dust Lounge, that’s where!

Where else would you go if you were a busted ass kid like me wandering around the shopping mecca/tourist trap that is Union Square? A bar! Not really a bar, more of a saloon. Near the southwest corner of Geary & Powell, the Gold Dust Lounge is a throwback to the old San Francisco days which existed way before I was probably born. High-back chairs and benches accented with gaudy red velvet padding and model airplane paint gold trim. Totally worn out wood paneling, old smoky mirrors, wicked tarnished brass lamps and cherubs painted (or probably wallpapered) on the ceiling. The second you walk in you’ll notice the smell. It’s a kind of like stale beer, ass, piss and a hint of vomit smell. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Pssssst … it’s the smell that keeps the tourists out.

If you’re lucky, you can score the table immediately to the left when you walk through the entrance. It’s a small round table that juts out a bit towards the sidewalk behind a semi-circular window with small red velvet padded brass stools. There is no better spot in the city for people-watching while sipping your suds in peace. I walk in and my table was taken. Beat! So I waddle up to the bar with my extremely heavy woodland MARPAT duffel bag, desert MARPAT backpack, Targus laptop bag and Lowepro camera bag. I had that look as if I just traveled 3000 miles and I need a beer! I order a Stella draft with a Wild Turkey on the side. You know, the J.Ho Combo. At last, I’m home.

I score my drinks, sit down and absorb the fact that I’m back in San Francisco wishing it was to stay. I used to sit at the same bar while my former better half and her friends would go shopping in Union Square. I’ve stumbled in and out of cabs while coming and going from this place. I miss it. I never really missed the bathroom though. I give it only one star. I had to go wizzle, so I walk towards the back and hold my breath as I walk in the tiny bathroom. What was the first thing I saw? What was the perfect San Francisco greeting? I had to take a quick picture.

Indeed, I’m home. No town in the world does obscene bathroom wall literature better than San Francisco. Just to the left this shot someone wrote, “Michael Savage for President.” Then someone had crossed out the Michael part and wrote in Dan. This is just a taste of how polarizing the political landscape can be in this fine city. Actually, I believe Michael Savage and Dan Savage are equally irrelevant.

The next fine example of San Francisco bathroom wall literature was one of the most timeliest I’ve ever experienced. See below …

I had to adjust my flash a bit from when I took the first shot. It says, “100 years till the next one! Go home Bostonian! Don’t like home? Women are ugly? Weather is awful? California … priceless!”

Interesting comment. I assumed they were talking about the Red Sox winning another World Series. The funny thing is about six weeks later, the Sox did just that! The rest of the writing is spot on, though. Trust me. I’ve lived both places. Trust me, San Francisco is in no place to say another city has ugly women. We’ll save that topic for another rant.

After several J.Ho Combos and many, many tall tales shared with the bartenders, it was time for me to continue on my travels. I didn’t get to stop by the Gold Dust again during my trip, but the short time to water up and reminisce was all I needed. The two pictures below are a shot of the Gold Dust entrance taken from my hotel room and a picture of the J.Ho Combo.

Check out the Gold Dust if you’re in the area. Live jazz almost every night.

Too be continued …

Yankees suck! Giants too. Both Giants.

Comments (2)

By J.Ho, October 23, 2008 2:01 pm

So for the sixth time in nine or so years, I’m moving again.  Cross-country.  Again.  For like the fourth time.  I’ve spent the past three years in Hamilton, Mass with my thumb in my ass and it’s time for a change.  Just as it starts getting cold.  Thank Shiva!

Vegas is the destination.  This will be my third tour of duty in Vegas.  Not sure if I want to totally anchor down there for good, but it’s exciting to head back there for a while.  I have a lot of plans for the future.  Personally, professionally, spiritually and creatively.

One of the first things I need to do is start cooking more.  I’ve been way too busy up here over the past couple years for cooking it seems.  It’s not like I never had time.  it’s more like I never made time.

I’m in the middle of packing up my gear right now and needed a quick internet break before the FiOS get’s shut off.

I had a great time in Boston and met some of the most awesome and interesting people ever.  I’ll miss them as much as they’ll miss me.

Have to run.  Never forget … Yankees suck!

J.Ho … out!