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This past Christmas my boss gave me a case of assorted Samuel Adams beer. I graciously took the case and chuckled to him, “Kid, didn’t I tell ya I have a life-long boycott on Sam Adams beeeah?” He says no, so I tell him the story …

I’m cutting a lot of the details out and getting to the point. Remember this, I am completely innocent. I was minding my own business as I always do.

It was January 18th, 2006. I remember the date cause it was the same as an important meeting I had in Boston. It’s still on my calendar. A buddy and I were in some bar on Boylston Street in Boston. I don’t remember the name. All inside the bar and all up and down Boylston Street were people walking around wearing a variety of pastel colored Sam Adams baseball caps. It looked kinda stupid, but most corporate function clothing does. As it turns out it was some sort of Boston Brewing Company (Samuel Adams) corporate night out or something. I talked to a few of them. Some were cool and some were tools. A few of the pastel clad Sam Adams guys were near my friend and I at the bar. I ordered a Newcastle and received plenty of dirty looks from the Sammy crowd. Like I freakin care.

Well, one thing leads to another and the next thing I know a drunk Sam Adams goon is in my face slurring his words and saying he was going to kill me, gouge out my eyeballs, slice my tits off, ect… Kindly, I tell the bully to get out my face and leave me alone as I slowly push him away with my left forearm. All the while I’m sitting there with a mug of beer in my right hand waiting for the best moment to crack his skull open.

He gets in my face again and says I’m crazy to push him off since he’s there with 15 other dudes. I blow him a kiss. Then he says that he and his pink and purple hat wearing crew are going to stomp my ass in. So I softly tell this goon that if he wants some action he better round up his boys.

Now, people, I’m from Las Vegas. Vegas is a town where people know how to handle their shit. My Vegas training teaches me that if someone is in your face telling you they and their friends are going to kick your ass, they ain’t doing shit. Cause if they were going to do it, it would have already been done. So I knew this guy was blowing drunk smoke up my ass.

Nothing happens, as I suspected, and a few guys pull this drunk asshole away from me. My friend and I finish our beers and leave. Wanna know who the drunk bastard was who was picking a fight with me and almost had a pound or so of crystal beer mug embedded in his dome? None other than the Chairman of the Boston Brewing Company himself, Mr. Jim Koch. I knew it was him from the commercials he does and you can’t miss his gigantic ugly nose. Yeah, the boss of bosses at that company is walking around drunk off his ass and picking fights with guys on Boylston Street.

Boylston Street isn’t the toughest area of town. But then again, Koch was drunk and rolling with about 200 of his employees. I guess it was a power trip for him. Your typical Boylston Street guy is some lawyer or investment banker. Jim Koch probably thinks he can take guys like that. I wonder if he ever stumbles drunk around Dorchester or Lynn. Try starting random shit in a bar in those towns and you’ll get stabbed real quick.

Anyhoo, the point is that I have vowed to never, ever give that company another dime of my money. EVER!! Fucking assholes acting like that. Well, I finally finished off the variety pack of Sam Adams my boss gave me. It took me forever since I didn’t even want to drink the free beer unless I was out of everything else at home. I’m having second thought regarding my boycott. I mean, that beer is freaking good. It’s a shame. Regular Sam Adams Lager and Sam Adams Light taste like ass, but the Winter Lager and other seasonal beers are awesome.

What do I do? Do I give up? Do I march on? Do I concede that a two year boycott was enough? If I were living back on the west coast this would be a non issue. The boycott would continue indefinitely since out there I can get Gordon Biersch beers. Gordon Biersch blows the doors off anything the Sam Adams crew could ever come up with.

Yankees suck!