Comments (3)

By J.Ho, December 3, 2009 4:43 pm

Last night Rachael Ray was texting me all upset still over Martha Stewart slamming her in a Nightline interview a week or so ago. I exported the text from my iPhone using a non-Apple approved app. Check it …

—————————————-

RaRay: hi JamieCakes!!!

J.Ho: hi SugarBum, wasup?

RaRay: I can’t believe this shit!!!

J.Ho: ???

RaRay: Did you see what that tw@ Martha Stewart said about me on Nightline?

J.Ho: Like I watch Nightline!?!?!

RaRay: Yeah, anyway, she went off on me saying how I admitted to her once that I don’t know how to bake. Is that news to anyone? Haaaarow?!?!?

J.Ho: LOL!! I know only a few things as fact. It will get dark tonight. Monday comes after Sunday. and you can’t bake! I’m not much or a baker either. Who actually bakes anyways?

RaRay: That’s not all … she said my new cookbook is just a compilation of old, re-editied recipes.

J.Ho: Get the fuck outta here

RaRay: Seriously

J.Ho: Ummm, aren’t all recipes pretty much re-edits of older recipes?

RaRay: TOTALLY!!! There hasn’t been an original cookbook published since like the 20s

J.Ho: The Giada De Laurentiis cookbook “Everyday Italian” was pretty original

RaRay: FUCK YOU!

J.Ho: …..

RaRay: I’m all wound up and you’re makin fuckin jokes

J.Ho: Sorry, you still love me though

RaRay: Anyway, then she goes on saying how she writes books that are lasting, unique things that everyone would want in their library. BULLSHIT!

J.Ho: I was just at Costco and saw a book of hers on the discount table titled, “Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook: The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home” … yeah, everything but your husband and daughter!!!

RaRay: Yeah, total family woman. Her ex-husband hopes she starts bleeding out of her eyes and he daughter wouldn’t have anything to do with her until she bought her a nice little private jet

J.Ho: d-bag!

RaRay: And she says I’m just an entertainer, not a “teacher” like her. Ummm, and her point is?

J.Ho: Where has she been?

RaRay: LOCK UP!!! THAT’S WHERE!!!

J.Ho: LOL, what makes her think you’re an entertainer? Was it your 52 TV shows? Or your Daytime Emmys?

RaRay: God I swear every time that old goat opens her mouth a cloud of dust puffs out.

J.Ho: Don’t worry about it. She’s just jealous. Total jelly! She needs some peanut butter cause she’s so jelly!

RaRay:

J.Ho: Look, she has no personal life, her own family hates her, she’s been in lock down, her company’s valuation is in the toilet and she has no idea how to relate to the public. She made a career on telling women how to be wonderful little homemakers. That shit doesn’t fly nowadays.

RaRay: No shit!

J.Ho: And if she’s gonna try to get noticed again, the only thing she can do is to talk shit and compare herself to the ruler of the universe, which is you, BubbleButt! It won’t work.

RaRay: You’re totally right. I just responded by saying, “Yeah, you cook better than me, Martha. C-ya!”

J.Ho: Smooth

RaRay: What are you doing tonight?

J.Ho: Daaaaahts!

RaRay: Where are you playing?

J.Ho: Lucky Dog, probably

RaRay: Sweet, I gotta run. I have nine more books I have to finish writing by tomorrow afternoon. Copy/Paste, Copy/Paste!!!! Oh, I saw Taylor Swift the other day. She couldn’t stop raving about the mix CD you made for her.

J.Ho: I put a lot of thought into that CD. Especially the order of the playlist.

RaRay: Does she know about us?

J.Ho: Clueless!

RaRay: Sweet! … bye!

J.Ho: Peace

RaRay: Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss

J.Ho: Ok, Nacho!

RaRay: Yankees suck!

J.Ho: God, I love you!

RaRay:

Comments (0)

By J.Ho, November 24, 2009 8:08 am

‘Tis the season to be hammered … I can’t get enough Coquito during the holidays.  Actually, two glasses is enough for me at one sitting.  It packs a serious Latin punch.  J.Ho tested … J.Ho approved !!!

1 cup Coco Lopez cream of coconut
1 cup Carnation sweetened condensed milk
1 cup Carnation evaporated milk
1 cup white rum
1 cup water
3 cinnamon sticks
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
4 egg yolks, well beaten
ground cinnamon and nutmeg

Combine the coconut, condensed and evaporated milks and the rum in a blender or a food processor.  Set aside.  Boil the water with the cinnamon sticks for about five minutes.  Remove from heat and allow to cool to room temperature.  Discard the cinnamon sticks.

Combine all of the ingredients except the ground cinnamon and nutmeg and beat well in a blender or food processor in batches.  Pour eggnog into bottles and refrigerate until ready to use. Serve in your favorite glasses sprinkled with nutmeg and cinnamon … with a dash of Yankees Suck!

Comments (0)

By J.Ho, November 10, 2009 4:51 pm

So I’ll be working as a professional chef for like the first time ever.  I’ll be assisting in the kitchen at the Goat Hill Grille helping prepare their Fall 2009 Wine Dinner sponsored by M.S. Walker Fine Wine & Spirits.  Check out the announcement HERE and the menu HERE.

Cheers!  Yankees suck!

Comments (3)

By J.Ho, October 26, 2009 1:04 pm

I know, no updates in a while and no new recipes for well over a year or so.  The past two years have been pretty hectic.  Anyway, yesterday while watching the Pats game I decided to make some beef stew.  Perfect for a crisp autumn day in New England.  Recipe is HERE.  Check it out!

Yankees suck.

Comments (0)

By Muffin, August 6, 2009 3:32 pm

The homepage almost makes the Starboard Galley look enticing…almost. Yes, they do have outdoor dining, which fortunately the hostess was kind enough to let us know that it was “buggy” outside. As a table of four relocated to inside due to the buggy-ness, that is when I saw that their outdoor dining doesn’t actually look out on the water, it looks out on a parking lot. Very romantic.

In a state of hunger that was so great (and a tight budget) we opted for the Starboard Galley. Having never been there before (nor will I ever return) we should have been tipped off by the fact that there were no cars parked out front and no diners waiting to be seated. When we sat at our table I mentioned to my date that the restaurant smelled funny…”yeah, it smells like urine”. That should have been our second clue, but we were ravenous.

We perused the menu and decided to try the steak tips…it’s virtually impossible to make bad steak tips…that’s what I thought anyway. Our waitress, who was actually very nice, brought us our water (which tasted like dirt, but the lemon slice garnish helped mask that) and bread and butter. Nothing fancy, but it was enough to tide us over until our meals arrived. The steak tips were little brown chunks of meat that in no way were cooked medium rare and tasted like they had been sitting on the grill for hours. The chicken wings weren’t any better unless you prefer chicken wings overcooked to the point that they shrivel and dry out. The baked potato wasn’t even hot enough to melt room temperature butter and the brown spot, that was just gross. The veggies (zucchini and summer squash) weren’t hot either and barely resembled anything edible.

Bottom line, if you’re thinking of going to the Starboard Galley just go to Crapplebee’s instead.

Thanks for reading,

Muffin

P.S – Yankees suck!

Comments (2)

By J.Ho, July 6, 2009 11:39 am

So I’m back in Boston and I need to start updating this site again.  Will do.  Seriously. Yankees suck!